Time for men to stand up
Published in the Geelong Advertiser, Friday 7 June 2024
The majority of men need to rise up. We are facing a crisis of violence against women, with no real solution in sight.
While I support and praise the effort of women raising attention to the issues of the appalling numbers of sexual assaults and family violence in our community, it’s time for men to take responsibility for each other.
There is little point in women taking a stand and marching the streets if there is no substantive action or behaviour change. This is not a ‘woman’s problem.’
In a recent episode of the Ministry of Self podcast, emotional intelligence practitioner Mike Martin and I share our thoughts on this issue.
Working with elite business and sport coaches, Mike is deeply committed to healthy and respectful work environments. He believes that it is time for all good men to stand together and help every man regain their pride and sense of self.
In this episode ‘Time for men to take responsibility for themselves’, I referred to a recent article in the Geelong Advertiser where the City of Greater Geelong’s CEO Ali Wastie said, "It has been my experience that men who sexually harass women do so to boost their fragile egos and manage their own insecurities." (‘Powerful Geelong women speak out on sexual harassment’, May 3, 2024)
Mike and I agree with Ali’s sentiments and suggest that men need to be responsible for each other and consider Mike’s concept of 'Mate Check, Colleague Check & Stranger Check.'
If the situation escalates, skills of ‘de-escalation’ can be learned through using the right language and approach. Being skilled in picking up on the early signs of impending violent behaviour means men need to be prepared to back their instinct and ask questions. When they can see behaviours that clearly need to be addressed, a quick check-in is needed, before any negative behaviour escalates. This can be as simple as asking someone why they seem to be behaving in an out-of-ordinary way
As a grassroots initiative, we understand it will not stop every instance of violence. But we can start to draw real attention to the situation by creating high awareness and the desire to act. This includes understanding that a loss of self is a big part of the issue. Giving the tools and advice on how to understand ourselves and our behaviours is at the heart of the invitation presented in the Ministry of Self podcast first series.
If you are interested in supporting an action-based ‘Mate Check, Colleague Check & Stranger Check’ program, we look forward to hearing from you.
Jennifer Cromarty is the host of the Ministry of Self podcast.